Monday, November 30, 2009
Sunday, November 29, 2009
we passed joel and glen a. on the new rim runner.
2nd half of rock brothers drug me around stucki and bear claw out by santa clara to the new rim runner loops just barely north of barrel roll. its a sweet trail with good flow some easy climbing and fast rocky dh. who ever made that knows whats up.
thats some sweet ass trail out there, along with the old other main stays you can ride down there for months over and over and not get sick of it.
back in 1990 i lived in ivins and there wasnt much to ride. im sure there were dirt roads all over stucki and blakes but i never went out there. the parkway to ivins wasnt even a road back then. the way to ivins was through santa clara. i used to ride my bmx bike to washington through a black lava laced 2 track that barely existed. right to dixie downs.
now there are so many trails its sickening. they all pretty much kick ass.
so any way i have an apt. in down town slc. i need a winter home in st george. i know lots of guys going down weekly and team mtb race news.com might be renting a condo for 3 months for anyone to stay there and pitch in a per night $$$. i hope that goes down because i will be down there every 3 or 4 day weekend for the next 3 months.
thats a lot of driving but im crazy and cant just decide on one place.
im deep in the pain cave a month now, the results are not slow. i cant really believe the changes that are happening for the better. i could barely ride a few months ago and now daily 2.5 hr rides are hard but do-able. is that a word? i wonder how i'll be on new years, its only 33 days away. im goin with biggie on this one.
the skies the limit
i had to come back to the big city to ship some hella packages. it seems while i was gone the whole world bought all my stuff and i cleared out my living room and loaded my bank account.
xmas is here, and they are all on egay looking for my sweet deals.
im going back down south friday for some more trail ripping sessions.
if you are down south lets hook up.
Posted by primetime formerly known as slyfox at 9:22 PM
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Posted by primetime formerly known as slyfox at 10:19 PM
Friday, November 27, 2009
oh ya and brad g was out on the road bike for 4 hrs. thats gotta be boring.
Posted by primetime formerly known as slyfox at 6:28 PM
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Comprehensive Methylation Panel with Methylation Pathway Analysis.
order that $500 test and send your blood in the mail, this is a genetic mapping test and will tell you your mutations, why some toxic chemicals affect you and not your brother, or friend. your riding buddy that slams crap all day and still hauls ass. why are you sick and tired, and why these pollutants in your environment affect you and nobody else.
its because everyone is different and everyone has different genetic make ups that affect their own way of life.
i've been learning about holistic healing and health for about 10 yrs now. trying to figure out health related problems for myself and friends. since i make it no secret i hate drug companies and hospitals for health related problems.
taking a prescription drug is not the answer, it will just make you sicker and cause other problems later down the road.
so since i know smart holistic people here in the big city, i have been making head way with my health, mental and physical.
basically its caused by metal toxicity, you get metals in many ways. the salt lake valley is loaded with pollutants and the doctors i have been working with have tested peoples hair in this area and several metals in their body are off the charts, (not good)
last summer i had some old mercury silver filling removed from my molars, i still have 2 left and need to get them taken care of.
after 2 weeks of residual pain (in june) it seems to be better. now this wont fix the problem as the metal is pulled from the teeth into the cells of the body, where it sits and causes disease and other energetic problems. for me it was the obsessive thoughts about random tramatic experiences, thoughts of insanity and craziness.
low energy, attracting me to sugar and caffeine, just to feel normal. which that causes other problems with weight gain and energy crashes.
the cycle is complex and chronic. its like there is no hope and some times i feel crazy and worthless. i dont know what i would do if i didnt meet these knowledgeable holistic energy healers.
now i didnt go into full details but i just want you to get an idea that im figuring it out and on the right track to finally fix my life time battle.
Posted by primetime formerly known as slyfox at 8:35 PM
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
im not sure where im going for thanksgiving, eating other peoples food, and being around kids isnt my idea of a holiday. small talk and pretending to stuff your self with mass quanities. most peoples houses have more germs than a 3rd world country and its a potential swine flu out break.
maybe i can wear a mask like those asian people
Posted by primetime formerly known as slyfox at 11:48 AM
Monday, November 23, 2009
Posted by primetime formerly known as slyfox at 5:20 PM
hope im not beating a dead horse here, as i know my thoughts and feelings produce my reality and results. so i wonder if im constantly thinking of the past and what i once had if im in a downward spiral or getting off this pity party and choosing new actions instead of old non working behaviors.
instead of sitting at the computer all day and obsessing over shipments and sales i wanted to get out to the races and just do nothing but stand there and spectate. it doesnt bother me as much as one would expect. you know watching races, some guys say it kills them to watch. but im over that. ya sure its fun to race if your at the front or feeling it. but if you are slow and getting shelled its no fun. at least for me.
so im not sure where the cash zone is going for the future. i seem to be bored with that as well. its like wearing the same halloween costume everyday of the year. not exciting and fresh. im not feeling the tecno at the races and the energy isnt there so its a real buzz kill.
i wont be in town for the local cx race saturday and im not sure if i want to go to the last race in a few weeks. i also dont want a prize at the party, again. these races are for the racers, the party and awards are for guys that worked hard and got results in the series. its not for me who just stands there and yells.
so i bring this up because i dont want a prize. the prize is when someone is killing it and doesnt take it so serious that they can take some money. its a bike race, its not the end of the world if you lose 2 seconds to enjoy the moment.
i hope everyone who reads this can recognize that.
so heres what i get to decide what to do everyday.
usually, like a few months ago i pretty tired and run down. i usually got up around 9 or 10. felt like crap and walked 20 feet to the office and started right in on email and shipping.
but now days i wake up around 7 or 8 with no alarms. ever, i dont need them. i've got this new place downtown and its in a good location for me, with no car. i have everything pretty close by, fedex, usps, shops, stores, food. so im trying not to buy a car, i dont think i have to. as i've gotten good at carrying bikes on the scooter to and from pick up points. also bike boxes one handed to fedex, and empty bike boxes from the local shops which 4 are within 1 to 2 miles. so thats good.
i hate morning tv, its so bad and waste of time. ya im sure you think all tv is bad but i have some good shows on history and discovery. for me its like learning visual. its not stupid mindless sit coms loaded with drug commercials.
i dont think some people recognize the learning value on some programs. books dont do it for me, i need visual stimuli.
i dont have a real job to go to, so i can do anything anytime. but you have to get shit done, so you have to have some kind of self management. mainly check the sales for the day and get them sent so people dont freak out and complain a lot. which they do any way.
farming out 1/2 my work so i have more time to do whatever. paying people to post 300 jerseys. leaving inventory in multiple locations in town and paying people to ship it as well.
i have a bit here but im trying to get out of this endless cycle of buying and selling. if i can find the sweet deals and thats it. thats fine with me.
emails, shipping, posting, putting out fires with unreasonable people. if i can avoid it i will.
so after about 2 or 3 hrs of doing this from 9 to 12 im pretty tired of sitting and typing. then i can start boxing things up and get the orders out. this might take 2 hrs or if i have some wheels and bikes it takes longer. usually try to get all this done by 4 or 5 since the po closes at 5 or 6.
now its dark, usually i would like to go ride in the afternoon after all this is done so im not hurrying around and worrying what didnt get done on a mid afternoon trail ride. . . . but i didnt ride much trail this year anyway and its dark at 5. so,
maybe i should eat or ride in the dark. the last month i have been riding in traffic in the dark with no lights.
some old kodger stopped in the middle of the road and got out of his car walking in the dark waiting for me to ride by and informed me i should get some lights.
really,.. you are standing in the middle of the road walking behind your car in traffic causing a bigger problem than me.
maybe i should adjust my sked a bit, with a mid afternoon 1 to 2 hr trail ride at 1 or 2pm.
now im still pretty slow and 15 hrs a week isnt going to happen for 2 months. so 90mins a day for the rest of the year is plenty. theres 22 hrs left in the day to do whatever so im sure i can figure it out.
thats about all i have to do everyday, its not much but sometimes i cant finish it. i wonder about all the others that do 10 times as much and never have down time to do nothing.
there was a big bike expo in san fran saturday but i didnt want to go. im pretty over driving 10 hrs and trying to haggle with guys over some bike gear.
the next one is in mid jan. maybe i'll be up to go to mad town by then.
going to st george friday for a short weekend. that should be a good change.
i dont have any good pics to add today so you get a long ass story. heres some tecno.
Posted by primetime formerly known as slyfox at 9:39 AM
Saturday, November 21, 2009
she wants to go to cross races and hang and doesnt even or never has raced, i hope she has the sense not to at this point in time attend such events. i couldnt stand the thought of her dating the security guard or any other replacement that wants to get in her pants. so i had to end all comms and get togethers,
call me crazy, i dont want to be going skiing, on trips, bike races, lunches, donating money for her expenses and cat support while shes dating and cooking dinners for some next best thing.
Posted by primetime formerly known as slyfox at 7:09 PM
Friday, November 20, 2009
i thought my life was pretty good, a 6 weeks ago, or 2 months ago. or 6 months ago. it seems i wasnt paying attention to the details and i had a sense something wasnt as it should have been. then life knocked me on my ass and the last 5 weeks i've been trying to digest and catch up to what has happened. most of the days i just sit and think what the fuck went wrong. how i could have changed it, how or why it happened and where the hell was i when the path went down the wrong road. i was too into my bubble i guess, watching stupid shows on tv and burying myself into a job im not too fond of right now. getting off track with racing and riding. totally abandoning the sport i've done my whole life. not even touching the bike for months at a time and when i decided to make changes in sept. it was way too late. the whole month of sept i rode a bit, i was so fat and unfit it disgusts me. it took like a month to feel normal again. then that brings me to swap season and the last post i wrote while i was in nj/pa/nyc. looking at that post just makes me sick, the pics i have and memories of what i once had and didnt know it makes me sick.
if you dont want to read more of this sob story just turn this blog off because im sure its going to keep coming for a few months.
i debated even writing this, but as i abandoned my bike, i did the same with this blog. i need an outlet to write and doing it on paper in private doesnt work for me. i'd rather lay it all out for anyone to see.
im pretty much misunderstood because im a recluse. i dont show much to many and this usually plays against me.
the last five weeks i moved out of my house, split with my gf, lost my cats, almost lost all will to live, lost interest in work, in eating, in pretty much everything. if it wasnt for some friends that helped me out over the last month i dont know what or where i would be.
so i must write to be creative, to outlet some thoughts, like riding, hammering the big ring up a steep climb until you pass out or throw up, moving energy into some positive outlet.
so i pretty much set this whole pain thing up myself, to force myself to face some deep dark caves i have been avoiding my whole life. pushing someone close to me away to the point of them making the moves to force my own growth. its pretty much the worst thing ever but i think back and i knew this was coming and i tried everything in my power to avoid it.
if i want something better i think i have to travel this long dark tunnel alone and its freaking me out like no other horror movie.
getting back to the basics.
on my own again, no one to take care of but myself and that alone is way harder than probably 10 kids.
getting back to some meaningful hours on the bike , with focus and determination that only a few others i know have, that matches me.
nurturing a passion that has died , dried up and blown away with nobody at fault but my own.
finding a balance, that has eluded me my whole life. not too much and not too little.
finally learning the biggest lesson of my life, it was a very expensive lesson and it cost more than money is worth.
hopefully learning to apply these to future events so i dont have to go through this again.
maybe next time i'll come up with something more light of heart and funny.
until then i need to write and get this out.
Posted by primetime formerly known as slyfox at 2:22 PM