conversations with sager

from the nebraska highway.

i went to big d, mini blake or the green lantern were out of town. so i hooked up with chris mccormack and steve Z.

also i bought a bunch of campy shifters from this guy. paid way too much,

but hes fun to deal with, and the story is funny, old news but new to some.

last year i saw him at the san fran swap but him and his wife moved out to boulder. he has a truck load of team monex parts and campy parts left over.

heres a funny story with el gato and roberto.

el gato

when you can chill in boulder with the cream of the crop, i say why not?

not really but when one goes to such a large event like denver veloswap its easy to see all the pro athletes in the hizzy. its like going to interbike but better. its like the kind of thing people like to go to park city during sundance. i think its a waste of time, but i see their point.

so anyway those guys were out of town.

back to the convo with the green lantern.

set the scene, im east bound through the weed fields of wyoming. GL is east bound towards omaha to ride in corn fields.

sly: wyoming is more boring than nebraska.

GL: thats cuz there is no one except broke back I-80 and neb is more goth.

ok, that was short and sweet.

back to the big city.

i was logging the hours behind the wheel, 48 hrs 1200 miles. i walked a couple dozen miles and my feet hurt. avoided the five 0, and didnt flip the van.

i needed a dolly, not this one, but this one.

so i dont know where to get one. i went over to fred meyer at 8pm sunday. they didnt have what i need.

im dreading this part, i hate this place and try to limit my time there to once a year.

i heard and believe ghosts live there and try to steal your body when you walk in the door. its really creepy and i hate this place.

WALMART

this is the hell hole on earth. im not racist and dont mean to offend anyone about this but why is that place full of mexicans, its 9 to 1 ratio, white trash to mexicans. they bring the little kids and run around like its a petting zoo.

nobody is working there, i mean the place is like 5 square miles and they have 2 mexicans working the whole store.

they have 340 check out stands and 2 are open.

they have 10 million items and dont have ONE hand truck. holy hell i was going to drive the truck through the front door.

that place sucks more than wells fargo.

a few years ago i was there buying 29 ps2 players. this really ugly fat girl with sores on here face from meth hissed at me and she was from hell.

im not even lying about this, she started yelling and clawing the air at me. i ran out of that place and prayed for protection against demons invading my body.

im so serious, dont think im making this up.

i saw this kid at the velo selling his bike with this sign.

so no action at walmart fall apart. i went 5 more blocks down 3rd west to home crap hole.

this place at 850pm sunday night is dead. i asked 3 people where the hand trucks were and they all told me different corners of the building.

this place is like 2 square miles full of wood and stuff. my feet hurt and i need an electric cart.

i found the dolly in the very corner of the building and went to pay.

right when i get there, 3 people butt in line right in front of me and i cracked their skulls together.

not really but i wanted to.

so i went to the self check out and hit ENGLISH. yes im going to smash it with a hammer.

it goes to spanish and starts jabbering to me like the guys at barbacoa.

the lady sees im pissed but shes helping 5 tools that cut in line, so i go to this iranian lookin checker guy. he starts talking to me in some language i dont even know. probably nigerian or chinese.

i said "what" 8 times and hes trying to add my sale $23.21 and cant figure out how much change to give me. hes out of pennies so i told him to skip the pennies. he grabs a new roll of pennies and they fall all over the floor.

at this point i should have ran out the door and gave him my 70 cents. cuz if i had a chain saw i would have chopped his hands off.

3rd west drive back to the dt was the worst ever as i hit 19 lights in a row and ran 4 of them.

a lady cop saw me and decided not to bother chasing me and that was cool, cuz i wouldnt have stopped for her anyway.

i was in the mood for a chase and it would have been sweet to write about that instead of lame checkers and walmart demons.

ya rip it.