Tuesday, October 30, 2007

nba in effect

its opening night in the nba . jazz win, lakers suck, still. they stole fisher.

it was still a barn burner in LA.

baseball is over, finally.

nfl is mid season. colts pats showdown, i should head to wendover. the line is -7, for you that dont know what that means, pats have to win by 7 or more if you bet on them. if they win by 6 or less you lose.

im picking the pats to win by 10 or more. its in INDY, and i wont be surprised if it they win by 14 or 21.
this makes for some good R&R when the rides are over and its time to get horizontal.

atrain doesnt agree, but i dont give a rats ass.

other good shows i like

flip that house, how its made, runs house, hogan knows best, clean house, kimora, life in the fab lane. bear gryls, survivorman, whats with all these shows with house?

just noticed that.

chucky sent me this email today.

Hello Everyone,

Please take note:
Saturday November 03rd @ 8 PM Grand America Hotel Front Entrance
Drinking contest, you could win a free trip to Trails strip club!!

Sly, your invited.... But don't bring Ms. XXXXXXXXXXX

Sly, Can you help to spread the word, I've added you to the roster... see attached. Can you send this to Bates and possee in SLC... maybe the blog.

Bring your own cruiser bike. We are riding two 5 different bars and drinking along the way.. Who knows who will win the competition or where we will end up.

The points system and roster are attached to this e-mail, If you would like to be added to the roster please e-mail the entire group back and ask for mercy.
Welcome aboard Dennis and Brad... Racer are you going, how about that Map?

ok so,... your all invited, i dont drink so chucky is buying us designated bikers cokes.

you have not seen crazy till you see me hopped up on mt dew.

the days of summer

Monday, October 29, 2007

xmas in october and KRAFTwerk

whats up with xmas lights at fred meyer sept 25th, last week they bring out the fake xmas trees.
halloween candy was out 6 weeks ago, now they have the xmas lights mixed in with the halloween costumes.
work it, sell it all. consume mass quanities. but dont forget to recycle all that crap you buy.
the mixed messages are confusing me.

$200 barrel of oil next summer. i hope it goes higher so it will keep all the idiots out of cars and off the road. raise it to $500 a barrel.
im racing green with forrest and devin, riding to all the races.

meet kraftwerk,

not the band but the cx racer from pc. mike aka krafty. races 35 plus A PACK. last week his crank fell off. that sucks, he claims hes the dark horse, the unknown factor. ready to throw down for a W,

if you dont know krafty,

then look for this,

moots cx bike
revolution and or moots jersey
35 plus A PACK top fiver
name is kracht, but sound like kraft.

check out the blog

everytime i hear his name it reminds me of this song.

ya rip it.

from wise rib

once an old china man told me "grass hoppa, your ways are unorthodox but very effective"

ok not really but i liked it.

if you dont have a girl friend, heres what wise rib agrees with.

top ten MISTAKES
#1: Being Too Much of A "Nice" Guy
#2: Trying To "Convince" Her To Like You
#3: Looking To Her For Approval or Permission
#4: Trying To "Buy" Her Affection With Food And Gifts
#5: Sharing "How You Feel" Too Early In The Relationship With Her
#6: Not "Getting" How Attraction Works For Women
#7: Thinking That It Takes Money And Looks
#8: Giving Away All Of Your Power To Women
#9: Not Knowing EXACTLY What To Do In Each Type Of Situation With Women
#10: Not Getting HELP

dont email me for help. I have enough of my own problems.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

conversations with sager

from the nebraska highway.

i went to big d, mini blake or the green lantern were out of town. so i hooked up with chris mccormack and steve Z.

also i bought a bunch of campy shifters from this guy. paid way too much,

but hes fun to deal with, and the story is funny, old news but new to some.

last year i saw him at the san fran swap but him and his wife moved out to boulder. he has a truck load of team monex parts and campy parts left over.

heres a funny story with el gato and roberto.

el gato

when you can chill in boulder with the cream of the crop, i say why not?

not really but when one goes to such a large event like denver veloswap its easy to see all the pro athletes in the hizzy. its like going to interbike but better. its like the kind of thing people like to go to park city during sundance. i think its a waste of time, but i see their point.

so anyway those guys were out of town.

back to the convo with the green lantern.

set the scene, im east bound through the weed fields of wyoming. GL is east bound towards omaha to ride in corn fields.

sly: wyoming is more boring than nebraska.

GL: thats cuz there is no one except broke back I-80 and neb is more goth.

ok, that was short and sweet.
back to the big city.

i was logging the hours behind the wheel, 48 hrs 1200 miles. i walked a couple dozen miles and my feet hurt. avoided the five 0, and didnt flip the van.

i needed a dolly, not this one, but this one.

so i dont know where to get one. i went over to fred meyer at 8pm sunday. they didnt have what i need.

im dreading this part, i hate this place and try to limit my time there to once a year.

i heard and believe ghosts live there and try to steal your body when you walk in the door. its really creepy and i hate this place.


this is the hell hole on earth. im not racist and dont mean to offend anyone about this but why is that place full of mexicans, its 9 to 1 ratio, white trash to mexicans. they bring the little kids and run around like its a petting zoo.
nobody is working there, i mean the place is like 5 square miles and they have 2 mexicans working the whole store.

they have 340 check out stands and 2 are open.

they have 10 million items and dont have ONE hand truck. holy hell i was going to drive the truck through the front door.
that place sucks more than wells fargo.

a few years ago i was there buying 29 ps2 players. this really ugly fat girl with sores on here face from meth hissed at me and she was from hell.

im not even lying about this, she started yelling and clawing the air at me. i ran out of that place and prayed for protection against demons invading my body.

im so serious, dont think im making this up.

i saw this kid at the velo selling his bike with this sign.

so no action at walmart fall apart. i went 5 more blocks down 3rd west to home crap hole.

this place at 850pm sunday night is dead. i asked 3 people where the hand trucks were and they all told me different corners of the building.

this place is like 2 square miles full of wood and stuff. my feet hurt and i need an electric cart.

i found the dolly in the very corner of the building and went to pay.

right when i get there, 3 people butt in line right in front of me and i cracked their skulls together.
not really but i wanted to.
so i went to the self check out and hit ENGLISH. yes im going to smash it with a hammer.

it goes to spanish and starts jabbering to me like the guys at barbacoa.
the lady sees im pissed but shes helping 5 tools that cut in line, so i go to this iranian lookin checker guy. he starts talking to me in some language i dont even know. probably nigerian or chinese.
i said "what" 8 times and hes trying to add my sale $23.21 and cant figure out how much change to give me. hes out of pennies so i told him to skip the pennies. he grabs a new roll of pennies and they fall all over the floor.

at this point i should have ran out the door and gave him my 70 cents. cuz if i had a chain saw i would have chopped his hands off.

3rd west drive back to the dt was the worst ever as i hit 19 lights in a row and ran 4 of them.

a lady cop saw me and decided not to bother chasing me and that was cool, cuz i wouldnt have stopped for her anyway.

i was in the mood for a chase and it would have been sweet to write about that instead of lame checkers and walmart demons.

ya rip it.

lots of action

mitchel is wack, (its good to be wack)
he raced for 2.5 hrs in the mud friday, got 5th, then went to kentucky and lined up with the pros.
work it..... results here
which i heard was a 5 mile loop in tech roots, rocks and mud. 4 miles per lap of running.
you know its screwed up when a girl who doesnt even race mtn bikes. is a runner, lines up with flat pedals and running shoes and gets 4th.
hmm lets see whos racing, jack mormon militia member, kenny jones fill in, tim allen aka FUTURE. 4th, young bucks at 21, chris peterson, aka thinnest of thin hes still 18, wow those were the days.,,... mini sager blake harlan. just turned 21.
i wonder where bz would have been. hes a good runner... ya.
and then theres the idaho double in sun valley.

Friday, October 26, 2007

d-town big d or mile high

the front range.
every time i come here it has more construction and traffic than LA.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

under heavy anesthesia

this endodontist today jacked me up on some heavy pain killers around noon. i couldnt feel my tongue and cheek till 7pm.

you see i got my tooth drilled on yesterday, i had this pain in my jaw that was kickin my ass good and found out i had abcess root canal hiding under a 20 yr old filling. i thought i had a high pain threshold, picture this. me up all night pounding the pillows with fists of fury. i was on the verge of stepping in front of a bus.

that sucks real bad, but im tellin you this cuz i feel like the days of old. i think, and chucky told me last year he had this bad tooth and it makes you ride slow. it jacks your system up nice and anyway i went riding up dry creek and felt the best since almost like june.

that was 4 months ago. i dont know why the power is back so fast but i wonder if its cuz i got that tooth fixed.
they take cash, and they charge a lot. a mouth full of pain, or drop the skrilla. they really got you up a against a rock and hard place.

nothin like canadian health care thats for sure.
the lady comes in, im in the chair, dying, waiting for the doc to drill this hole in my jaw and they wont begin until i pay up.
thats really lame, but its the american dream.

hopefully this is part of the solution i was hunting for. getting the snap in the step and the energy to put in 20 hr weeks again.

we'll see, and im hopeful.
as you sleep, rest and dream of me im on the road, white line fever.
veloswap is tomorrow and i got dead presidents burning a big hole in my pocket.

this is some mad jack

Almighty Dollar, banknote, bankroll, beans, bill, boodle, bread*, bucks*, cabbage, capital, cash, check, chicamin, chips, coin, coinage, dinero, dough*, ducats, filthy lucre, finances, fund, funds, gold, gravy*, green, green stuff, greenback*, hard cash*, jack, kitty, legal tender, long green, loot*, lucre, mazuma, moolah, pay, payment, pesos*, property, resources, riches, roll, salary, scratch, silver, skin, specie, sugar, treasure, wad*, wage, wampum, wealth, wherewithal

wells fargo is the worst bank in the world. not cuz atrain told me that. its cuz i went to 4 branches today to cash a check for 4 grand. this is not my bank, so i go to their bank. show 9 forms of ID, leave finger prints, blood transfutions, and phone numbers and address of the closest 32 relatives and they tell me they dont have 4 grand in the bank right now??? holy shit are you serious. "we dont carry that kind of cash on the premises"

i thought this ass master was joking, but he was serious. its a freakin bank, and this is 4 grand. its not a lottery check for a million.

i'll get into the rest of this story later, but its totally ridiculous to go to 4 branches of a major bank and get the run around at each branch with different reasons not to cash a check. i was so pissed i almost pulled an art and wanted a refund.

good times to all heading north, hailey, sun valley, ketchum. idaho cx. i'll be back racin with the on the go tecno next weekend.

pollo loco

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

sharks with freakin laser beams

this does no justice, these pics are LAME, but if you were here, ask kathy and chris, oh ya and teresa, we were at sea otter and i got chased and beat up by a hick in a pick up truck. shining laser beams at cars.

if you see the green light in the middle of the pic, that my laser hitting pedestrians walking down the side walk a few blocks off the porch.

this beam goes 5 miles, that means i can shine it in an airline pilot cock pit.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

trail shred on the rush

i would suspect the foot hills to be safe from the hunt, up dry creek the orange hunters are packin heat.

up at the dry creek switchback this dude is dragging a 300 pound forken horn down the trail.

its nice out, there are a lot of bikers out the past few days. these arm chair athletes probably think they are "out in the sticks"

every 30 seconds a mtn bike goes by and hes dragging this poor bastard to his truck.

so i stop and hes eyeing a herd up on the black hill area. they are all over.
he didnt have the cart like the pic yet. he dragged that deer down about a mile. there is hair on the trail and a big hole ground down in the ass end of this deers hind quarters.

rippin the shoreline this time of year is the best, too bad slowran wasnt there for the smack down.

im heading to the world series in a few days.
mile high city.

i dont watch base ball. gardie does, i'd rather watch paint dry.
im goin to pick up some sweet deals at the veloswap.

yaaa white line fever.

hope the town isnt packed with sox fans. i cant handle that.

i dont know why im giving this up, this is too much fun. since i got the call from someone. i sent out a few pranks of my own.
optimus prime is at large.

call your pals, just dont put your own phone number on it.

or if you like napoleon check out the sound board.

conversations with francis

lets set the seen, scene, whatever, me driving, gardie reading a cycling news paper.

gardie: lets go to my house and get an apple

sly: ya

gardie: youre the best, man. i love you. seriously. i love you man.

sly: thanks, francis, if i was gay i would want you.

atrain calls: ya hoes. ya g-love, ya cash. ass woopins.

sly: hey gardie do you ever talk to people all day and never get anything done.

gardie: yes

sly: do you ever ride for 5 hours and not know what time it is or why you left:

gardie: yes

sly: do you ever wonder how jon g and atrain are matched evenly on the cross bikes, yet one is 7 feet and the other is 4 feet tall. one is 100 pounds and the other is 200 pounds

gardie: yes (reading)

sly: you rock man, seriously you are so A.D.D.

gardie: thank you

sly: do you ever stop at the gas station on a road trip and eat a box of twinkies?

gardie: yes

sly: no you dont, you are not even paying attention to what im saying.

gardie: yes i am (reading) thank you.

forward this video to -3 minutes

Monday, October 22, 2007

velodrome in the big city

ok, ok.

bryson and steve w. wanted me to post this.

i give in.

i dont agree with it, but i have a soft heart.

we dont need anymore track bikes in this town, but if you must. go ahead.

build it and they will come.

just dont let them wear tight jeans.

meet garret from texas

i dont know this guy but his stories are funny.

im sure you will see this garret, just keep hammering.

if you are ever in the big city, come over and we will show you some canyons with 30 mins of dh. hittin 60mph.

we keep our 2 min rollers in the valley.

wheres tree farm

on a weekend that saw the top dogs fall, all over the world. you cant win em all.

even sven has to take the back seat. sounds like rmr tactics in dirt over in belgium.

ride in circles and watch guys attack each other.

make the course harder.

tree farm and wicks going down. thats the name of the game. everyone is trying to knock you down.

watching cx is better than watching nfl.

atrain wouldnt agree.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

mid atlantic cross series

must be some where in baltimore. ask forrest.

i found this on some guys blog named fat marc.

and i liked it.

The funny thing about cyclocross is that despite it being a great community, we constantly kill ourselves. To earn a good result, a good starting position is really helpful. To get a good starting position you have to earn series points, which you have to earn by strong results. Kind of the Chicken and the Egg huh? So if you can be consistent, pull a couple top 25's , you can earn a shot at a good start, which can give you a shot to win.

Now be careful, because as soon as you win, some motherfucker will call you a sandbagger, and besmirch your good name on some email listserve. They will go Googling your results for the past 3 years, all in effort to blacken your eye. This is all the prize you get for earning what everyone who pays their money to race dreams of doing, to win. You work your ass off, you struggle to get better, you focus your season on cross, you finally win, and then because you are a winner, you must be killed.


Those are the rules. Every time I think we as a community have grown past it, sure enough it happens all over again... Like a bad dejavu...
Cyclocross is a sick beast. But I digress, Saturday, the only reason I stayed in was the thought that by crossing that tape, walking off the course, I would screw not only today's race but potentially much of the rest of the season. As embarrassed as I was, I hate quiting. I hate admitting that I'm done. And as much I hate chasing points, some days, that's a product of what we do.
Sick game.

shoot me

same angle, 2 diff porcs.

if you have ever sold anything online you may find the question below entertaining. I used to, but now days its just plain annoying.

just wondering what you mean by shimano free hub in the description of the product?

Because in the title you state that the hubs are dt swiss...let me know...also are the spokes dt swiss as well?

One time, we successfully mated a bulldog with a Shih-Tzu.
Really? That's strange.
Yeah, we called it a bullshit.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

giant killer

team rico rides one handed.

pics from forrest

HTFU, get them here

im soft, so i'll be watching with piotrek

ali goes for gold. this pic from last week, but forrest got some from today. i heard the week after 24 hrs moab is the time to attack bg. a guy juggling what he does has to have some off days.

check race results race 4 and 5 in a few days.

since this storm came in i cant wait to go south bound. there is a small town on the border called

santos hor hay.

sooner than later, but in a few days it will be back up to 60.

i need a new bike.

i just tried to drive up big cottonwood.

that was a mistake.
its 22 degrees at 8500 feet.

in case you didnt notice.
summer is over.

Friday, October 19, 2007

sound bites

im trying to figure out how to leave sound bites on here, like on the player but i have this long belch that sounds pretty good i want everyone to hear it.

i got this from kday, its just up my alley

all anonymous comments will be deleted, THANK YOU

i just rode a bike with avid cable disc brakes. those are worst peices of garbage on the planet.

no wonder people cant rip on the dh, they have crappy brakes.
if you have some on your bike sell them and get avid hydraulic ultimate. you will be able to haul more ass than you can even dream of

Thursday, October 18, 2007

from grid iron to leg irons

one day i went to italy

then the power flowed like no other.

i could do no wrong, its one of those magic days on the bike were its no pain and you rip it.

and the next day, the tomes felt the same way. 4 min win. frishy 2nd, ned, don myrah and weins all in the top 5.

these were the days before dopers.

the history lesson is:
i learned 2 things that day.
5 weeks before that i broke my collar bone. i though i wasnt going, it forced me to take 3 weeks off of riding, after that i did 10 days of riding, 4 days of hard stuff and it makes you take time off.

2nd is 1st place guy had a new manitou that just came out, like the one on tomacs bike in the picture.

he rolled away from me on the dh, 1 minute 20 on the dh gained. technology over a rigid fork. it was faster and i lost.

rip the dh or lose.


i got these from dastrup,

oh snap.

throwin bows

in case you missed it over at barts or sagers page. i had to post this picture. its too funny, bart "throwin bows" as he put it,

with a dude and a penguin on his hat.

omg, thats funny, and omg is even funnier.

heres to the jack mormon militia the acqui berry team.

and right next to the blue and green mona vie kit is the biker edge kit of ryan blaney. i think i remember doing a night lap with him. jake p is right behind him and i see steve wasmund and bunch of other freaks.
that lemans start adds 2 mins to your 1st lap time and is littered with gopher and snake holes that can ruin your whole day

the funniest thing about the deseret news article is thats the local mormon news paper and they printed the "jack mormon militia" in it.

good times.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

take the flat route

heres a good story. sounds like my auto biography.