pain cave

i can remember over the years 3 or 4 real bad times i blew my legs up like i did sunday. oh wow im in some serious pain over here. running or walking downhill blows them up like no other.
i can barely walk, sit in a chair. forget about trying to step down 3 stairs.

i find my self doing this every other year, back in 02 i tried to do a biathlon at soldier hollow i ran for an hour and got worked. it took a week to get over that leg crusher. in 92 i did a super muddy mtn bike race at hunter mtn new york it was 3 hrs in shit mud the brakes were cantis and the pads burned up. with metal on metal i was running the rocky slippery dh and after that weekend i couldnt walk for a week.

in 89 i lived in st george and thought i would try the marathon. its mostly downhill, from veyo to town, that shredded me i couldnt walk for another week.

now i did it again, i should start many things in moderation but i just jump in and pay the price.
bike shape doesnt equal run shape. i should have learned this long ago.

check out the new tiesto cd, its an ass kicker.

cyclists, mtn bikers, any type, road mtn whatever are a different breed. as you might already know.
ocd, add, adhd, bi polar. tons of mental issues going on with this crowd.
im no different. i think its a mixture of genetics, upbringing and life lessons.

who else who drive themselves to self torture several times a week and call it fun.

addictive personalities. some have it more than others. some take it to the extreme and dabble in drugs and alcohol, trade one vice for another. some run, some ride. some race, some do it all and then go to the bar.
or the drug pusher.

if you didnt know about this guy, you might want to check out his story. its pretty crazy. sad and so much was wasted. also its not over, hes not dead and has gotten out of it.
there is a good amount of info on him on the internet.
google chad gerlach.

i see many similarities between him, me and many of my friends. one choice in either direction can take you to the tour, winning it, being a weekend warrior. a local hero or on the street.
i say me because i am in a lot of ways an addict, i cant try anything small. its all or nothing. if i went down that road i would end up on the street. its hard enough for me with normal life things, and food. if i tried one drink or drug it would be my undoing.

my point is i dont think anyone is a victim. they choose the way. but to realize how close i, or any of you reading could be to either the top of the mtn or the bottom.